April 26, 2010 - WHAT THE F@#K!

I haven't written in 10 days. I hope that people are still following. We lost one of our precious family members last week and the world became a bubble of sorrow.

Last week, while in the throes of trying to help my family through a really tough time I had an IEP scheduled for my daughter. It wasn't an ordinary IEP because her therapist was going to be there. This scheduling had taken months, so I decided that I wouldn't cancel the meeting. In attendance were the program specialist, the speech therapist, the school psychologist, my daughter's therapist, one of my older daughters and myself. The principal showed up half an hour later.

The school psychologist started by handing out results of a BASK assessment. This is a simple test of scoring your child on a scale from NEVER to ALWAYS on a wide variety of personality and behavioral traits. It's given to parents and teachers to complete. The child also self-assesses. According to the results of this test, the school psych interpreted that my daughter would qualify for services as an EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED child. Get the FUCK OUT!! Excuse my language, but I really can't think of a more appropriate response. When we looked at the results, it was possible that each aspect of the test taken separately might suggest an emotional disturbance - and saying this is a stretch. Together, the assessment might as well have spelled out ASPERGER'S. But the school psych isn't qualified or experienced enough to make that assessment.

I looked at our therapist and she just shook her head. I went ape shit. I stayed as articulate and professional as possible, but I made it perfectly clear that a label of emotionally disturbed was not to go anywhere near my daughter's file. I also made it clear that the school psychologist, who admits to having no experience with autism, wasn't qualified to assess my daughter or her needs. When I tried to discuss the ADOS test that had been used initially by the district to assess my daughter, and my dissatisfaction over the results - which basically said that my daughter isn't "educationally autistic" - the program specialist and the school psych couldn't have the conversation with me because they're not versed on autism spectrum disorders or Asperger's. So explain to me - why are they there? Why am I trying to get my daughter services as a student on the autism spectrum from a team that isn't qualified to make a decision on needed services and don't understand the disorder?

Our therapist jumped in and made it clear that her professional experience with my daughter - who she has seen every week for eight months - did not support a diagnosis or assessment of emotional disturbance. Thank God she was there. At that point I asserted my parental right under the Education Code to have an outside assessment done. I also found out that none of the accommodations that we discussed two months ago have been implemented. There has been no assessment for full inclusion, nothing. Here we are in April - with just a few weeks of school left and we've gotten nothing done and no improvements for my daughter. Another year gone - wasted! The program specialist actually asked me what I wanted out of these meetings! How about some measures of success? I want to know exactly what the teachers have done and what the results of those accommodations have been. Is that too much to ask? Who's providing leadership to the teachers on this? How are they being trained to implement?

As a result, the meeting was "tabled" until May - at which point we'll probably start all over again. Our therapist was so appalled that she agreed immediately to be at the next meeting, which will probably include a lawyer as well. I left there feeling flabbergasted, frustrated and just plain pissed off! But you know what? It lit a fire in me. I'm keeping my head down and just pushing forward. I talked to another parent, who has many more years of experience in this struggle and many more resources, and she made it clear that it's a constant struggle. I'm ready.

These people better get prepared, because I'm now the most pissed off and determined mother that they'll come across for quite some time. Emotionally disturbed, my ass!

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!!