July 20, 2010 - Getting back on the Gravy Train

So, I've been at home full time since October of last year. Though I felt we were making some progress with my daughter, in truth she was coming off the rails. She was trying to work through her issues and navigate life on her own and it was not working for her. She needed a navigator - and that was me. When I left my job last year, though I was concerned about the financial ramifications, mostly I was relieved that I could finally just focus on my daughter. At that point I had a vague understanding of what needed to be done - but I never anticipated the full house cleaning that was needed. I've discussed at length my need to educate myself on Asperger's and to fully put myself on the front lines of her mental health treatment plan and her educational plan, so I won't go there again. But I will say that being with her full time has made such a difference in both our lives, that I could not have comprehended it fully without experiencing it. She's a different girl now. Happy, funny, communicative, artistic, brilliant! This isn't saying that we don't have episodes - but we don't have days and weeks of episodes. I've learned and she's gained tools to help her work through issues and understand the world that seemed so foreign to her just a few months ago.

This all leads me to the thought that it might be time for me to re-join the workforce. My hesitation lies in the concern that my daughter will backslide to where we were before the full time intervention. I think that the next step on our path is learning to maintain our progress while leaning less and less on each other. My daughter will be 13 years old this summer. It's time to teach her how to be on her own - in small doses, of course. I guess I can think of this as a continuation of her treatment plan. I have a job interview today - the one thing I will say is that the job will pretty much have to be perfect for me to take it. This time has been too precious to me to give it up for a position that I won't find fulfilling.

So, wish me luck in this new transition period - I'll need it!

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!!