Flower Girl

Another piece of work by my daughter - THE girl with Asperger's.

March 15, 2011 - The Contradiction

I've found that the longer I've dealt with Asperger's and the more I've assimilated to the quirks associated with our day to day lives, the less I have to say. I also think that I've hit a point where I feel like in some ways I've surrendered. There's still the daily stress in the morning, trying to get my daughter out of bed, the struggle to get her to do her school work, the constant battle over food - and I think "just screw it". Really, I mean just go through the movements, move from one spot to the next and repeat again the next day.

Then there's a spark of brilliance. My daughter tried out for and won a role in the play Romeo and Juliet. This is a very ambitious play for middle school, but she went to rehearsals daily, did all of her work and performed in four separate performances - in which she had four very long monologues. She will put herself out there - and she can excel. She's got the imagination of a great writer, poet or playwrite - we just can't seem to get her to a place where she can put it down in some form. Writing is generally out - the contradiction is that she writes in a journal almost compulsively. When I ask her to tell me a story, she'll begin talking and giving me the most amazing visuals - but when I put a recorder in front of her, she freezes.

I'm back to wondering what will become of this brilliant contradiction of a girl and when I'll figure out just how to condense all of her creativity and brilliance into a format that can benefit her.

The struggle continues.

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!

January 3, 2011 - Your Little Professor

I've added a link to a website I recently found called Your Little Professor. It has great information about Asperger's in easy to read text. It also has links to some great articles and reports. The more you know, the better you can advocate.

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!

December 31, 2010 - Asperger's I Hate You!

I hate you Asperger's. I hate you with all of my being. You rob the soul, the joy, the comfort from those that you descend upon. You isolate. You frighten. You deplete hope and optimism. You annihilate success. You emasculate triumph. You trap in an envelope of darkness.

I just need a glimmer - a glimmer will sustain me. A glimmer of hope. A glimmer of creativity. A glimmer of joy. A glimmer of a future that will be...anything other than what I fear it will be.

I need time. I need space. I need strength. I need compassion. I need understanding. I need support. I need companionship. I need love. I need abundance.

Asperger's I hate you! Daughter, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

November 19, 2010 - Parenthood

I spoke earlier about my love of the show Parenthood - there's a great storyline that includes parents and extended family dealing with a child with Asperger's and the trials and successes that they experience. It's a great show and pulls at my heartstrings every time Max (the child with Asperger's) experiences a setback or an achievement. It shows that there are lots of parents out there struggling with the same issues and more importantly shows them figuring out what works for the child and the family. Please watch - Tuesday nights at 10:00 on NBC. Also, I've included a link to the show's website where an expert on Asperger's discusses the issues outlined after each episode.

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!

October 22, 2010 - Victory!!

The one thing that I'm certain about is that every Aspie out there has a specific gift. It's probably apprarent to them, but it must be recognized by those around them. It must be seen as a victory that they can claim all their own. My daughter has many gifts - one of them is the ability to capture facial expression and movement in the painting of an abstract. It's beautiful to see. Everytime I see one of her paintings I wonder if it's because she doesn't always understand what she's seeing in other people's facial expressions and has a need to reproduce it. Or maybe it's an outlet for her to express her own emotions, which are often hidden behind a blank facade. Whatever the reason, I recognize her gift and put it here for all of you to see.

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!!

October 21, 2010 - Exhaustion SUCKS!!

Ok, first I want to start of by bragging a bit about a couple of victories that my daughter had earlier this month, that I haven't mentioned yet. First - she exhibited work at the Sacramento Arts Festival, which is a huge art fair held at our convention center. There are artists and craftsmen from all over the country exhibiting there, and our school district exhibits artwork from each of its schools, by grade and genre and that work is judged by a panel. My daughter won first prize for an acrylic that she submitted. It's my favorite of her work, so it was wonderful to see it recognized. She got a huge blue ribbon and a $25 cash prize which she cashed and spent on more canvas and paints. I felt good about that.

Later that week, she was named Student of the Month for academic achievement! And she ran for Student Class President! Considering that two years ago she was completely school phobic and on home hospital and that last year, she made it through just by the grace of God - this is huge. HUGE!! Her teachers and principal were concerned about her achievements last year, but everyday that she was there was a victory for her. Everyone is completely supportive this year and relishing in her achievements.

This week, however I've seen a backslide on the part of her teachers. I think because she's been doing so well, they've assumed that she's cured of her Asperger's and therefore they no longer need to honor her IEP accommodations. She was given detention everyday this week, in one case for work that she'd completed, but handed in late - it was due today and she handed it in today, but didn't have it available when she arrived in class. My daughter's IEP includes an additional time accommodation - which in my opinion is the most important accommodation there is, except for NO DETENTION!

This kind of backsliding has me scared to death. My daughter is sitting behind me, it's almost 8:30 and she's struggling through homework. I hate harrassing her to get it done, she gets upset and my older daughter has to be on call for math tutoring on a regular basis. It's exhausting for the entire household. I sent each of her teachers and her principal an email outlining my concerns, the key will be whether or not they respond. I'm so, so tired and I know my daughter is exhausted. I don't think that her teachers realize that homework consumes about four hours a night, every night - that leaves no time for family time, no going out to dinner, no going to family functions - nothing on weekdays. It sucks! The one positive - she's doing it! My daughter is sitting there working through it, no major tantrums, just getting it done. She's a sav!

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!! (And exhausting)