March 15, 2011 - The Contradiction

I've found that the longer I've dealt with Asperger's and the more I've assimilated to the quirks associated with our day to day lives, the less I have to say. I also think that I've hit a point where I feel like in some ways I've surrendered. There's still the daily stress in the morning, trying to get my daughter out of bed, the struggle to get her to do her school work, the constant battle over food - and I think "just screw it". Really, I mean just go through the movements, move from one spot to the next and repeat again the next day.

Then there's a spark of brilliance. My daughter tried out for and won a role in the play Romeo and Juliet. This is a very ambitious play for middle school, but she went to rehearsals daily, did all of her work and performed in four separate performances - in which she had four very long monologues. She will put herself out there - and she can excel. She's got the imagination of a great writer, poet or playwrite - we just can't seem to get her to a place where she can put it down in some form. Writing is generally out - the contradiction is that she writes in a journal almost compulsively. When I ask her to tell me a story, she'll begin talking and giving me the most amazing visuals - but when I put a recorder in front of her, she freezes.

I'm back to wondering what will become of this brilliant contradiction of a girl and when I'll figure out just how to condense all of her creativity and brilliance into a format that can benefit her.

The struggle continues.

Remember - DIFFERENT IS BEAUTIFUL!